Endure

deersunrise

So much to say but the words won’t come easy.

November.

November was a deep clean cycle, the kind that digs into the darkest crevices and unearths dusty truths. I spent much of November sick with old shadows. Physical manifestations of lurking demons perhaps. I was barely able to celebrate Thanksgiving as I was hit with 2 separate illnesses, both involving my immunity and the intestines. Today I am better, but my internal machinery is still trying to find balance.

In truth, the cleansing began before I became sick. It began with an invitation from Deer in the East in the early morning of Nov.2, and a painting class that appeared spontaneously in a feed I was reading that same evening. Inside, an intuitive seed sprouted and spread when I saw the class and I knew spiritually and creatively this was an offering. The class was to begin the very next morning so there was no thinking involved. More so, I was compelled. One week later as I crumpled into my first sickness, I understood this offering was more than a gift, but a life preserver and candle in the changing fathoms of darkness.

To call Visual Quest just a painting class is grossly insufficient, but words hold minimal power in that space. Visual Quest is straight soul speak, a travel into each direction as we unearthed, cleansed, healed and communed with the energies around and within, all with the mediums of meditation, music, animal medicine, paint to canvas, and pencil to paper. As I navigated the entire compass of this wonderful class, I accepted the path my body was being challenged with and worked to quiet the naysaying shivers of ego. I painted freely through the physical and emotional conversations between spirit and self. Holes mended as they appeared–healing, holding, and rebirthing.

Oh, how often do we not recognize that our creative energies not only feed on the light we breed from mindfulness, but also on the emptying of composted waste that has churned ceaselessly in those dark crevices? The purest of messages and vibrations walk the tightroped path between ecstacy and despair if and when we have the courage to walk with it. The courage of warriors is within each of us and the power to endure shows itself when we ask for it.

hike

I do not dare guess what December holds for me or any of my family. Expecting and accepting the unexpected is possible if we know that we are not alone and unguided, if we believe that we are warriors, healers, and creators all wrapped in skin and held together by bone.

It is a full moon tonight and the winter solstice is approaching. More than list making and gift giving, more than merry making, and schedule filling, more than the good and bad news we are having or hearing, more than the physical and or emotional sicknesses we are all carrying and fighting—we are all still souls having a human experience. Transcendence is available to each of us.

lake

May your December be the most inspiring ever
With much love and gratitude
xoxoxo
MJ

sunrisesnow

14 thoughts on “Endure

  1. Hey Beautiful….so great to catch up here and be refreshed with your thoughts, photos, trueness, realism and honesty.
    So much love to you. I’m so glad I checked in. And I love that painting you posted on Instagram, I never found out if you painted it…either way…it got me.

  2. So glad to have stumbled upon your beautiful, peaceful space again MJ 🙂 I hope you will be feeling better again soon. I have found my own strength (mental, physical, emotional) waning with the ebbing light of the season. I hope you get the rest you need. That picture of the deer is stunning.

    • Hello Suzy! It’s been such a long time, thank you so much for stopping by. I am happy to see that you are still meditating on life with your beautiful family and words. Cheers to you xoxo

  3. Ah, you went on a deep journey for the month. I’ve missed your words & photos. It warms me to know you were doing the work you needed to be doing (and I’m so glad you are on the mend). xo

  4. sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I’ve been sick too in November. twice. a lot of change happening. and the end of the year and the feeling to take stock of things aren’t helping. take things slow. sending good vibes your way xoxo

    • Hi Petra, Glancing at your page today, it seems I have missed so much. I’m sorry to hear you have been sick too. And it seems you are starting to settle down? Thank you for stopping by Petra, I will catch up in your space soon.
      xo

  5. my own insides have been churning, and tightening, and reeling, as i am attacked and shunned, and thought badly of. and still there is more to endure ahead. but like you, there was also healing, and recalling my warrior self. i found her through simple choice. and also, like you, i too found some healing in creativity. the time in the studio has lengthened. and i continue to heal and refuse to let go of strength. much love x
    http://www.inkandchai.co.uk

    (i was on another wp blog that had google+ as a log-in option, are you able to do that?)

    • It has stopped amazing me that we journey together and find the same vibrations. We are sisters after all. Glad to hear you are healing and finding more time for your creativity too. It is vital isn’t it?
      Cheers old friend.
      xo
      ps. I will try google plus

  6. Beautiful words and images MJ. You have been on my mind lately and it warmed my heart to see your post. I hope all is well and healing. Your words on transcending bring me back to my studies in my apprenticeship this year and remind me of Maria Montessori. Each of our human experiences are so invaluable and unique and in the end create the beings that we are. Thank you for sharing.
    Chey xoxo

    • Chey!! thank you so much for stopping by, it’s lovely to *see* you again. How is Golden? I will have to stop by and see how you all are doing.
      xoxo

  7. Beautiful words and photos, MJ! I saw one of your paintings on Instagram, so lovely. I loved my times in SouLodge and Pixie is amazing. I am happy that you were able to be part of Visual Quest despite being ill. It sounds like it was just what you needed. Peace tonight in the light of the Full Cold Moon. Love and gratitude to you in return. xoxo

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