Category: Uncategorized

I am a Death Doula

  I can say with certainty, I didn’t see it coming. The call to become a Death Doula was a gentle one, more a searching tap on the shoulder than loud trumpets or fanfare. Death, wrought with mystery and reeking of intense emotions, sits in the seat of promised impermanence and transition, a transition many…

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Nameless yet extraordinary

If I lean deep into the blood red curves and crevices that mold and hold my heart, I can see them, the winding spiral of stories strung like garland and sewn together with ache and love. It’s all there, layers upon layers of divots and dents, bursts and blooms, composted and collaged together laying fertile for the next planted seedling. I till…

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Swirling…

Acceptance, it’s something I think about all the time. The concept is a paradox really. In one moment I can love and embrace all that is, and in the next, recognize the need to question, challenge and evolve. There is always work to be done, a new piece of self-awareness to be uncovered, old demons that lurk, moments…

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Winter

I thought about her so much yesterday as I was writing this. Within seconds of finishing it, I received the call that she passed. *** A gnawing at the edges beneath my rib cage confirmed what I already knew. She looked so small, so crumpled in the wheelchair, breathing tubes in her nostrils, IVs and machines attached to her…

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merging into one

I wrote this piece several months ago when I first started considering the difference between Then–any then–the 12 year old then, the 20 year old then, the 38 year old then, and Now.  The process is inescapable if we are to shake ourselves loose of any attachment to the past and invite possibility. Combining MJ and Misa…

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A little bit messy

I wish I could say 2016 has been off to an extraordinary start. Well, it has been extraordinary but not in the way that lifts me off to the moon in a surreal sort of ecstasy. This is more of the messy kind of extraordinary, the kind where I am desperately trying to grip the…

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Trust and the undeniable unpredictable

I see it now, the limitless purpose of the moving, invisible finish line. I clasp with weathered hands, squeeze, and hold firm to the Uncomfortable. Digging my feet into the earth, I relax my lips and draw in a deep, nourishing breath, giving in to the knowledge that the full opus of who I am may never be completed. Every, single moment is a surrender to the undeniable unpredictable. Sustained, crystal clarity is but…

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Wolf song

Their howls woke me just before daybreak while moonlight and stars still swept the sky. They always begin the same way. One wolf raises her voice to the heavens and the others soon follow in unison, filling the valley with a most beautiful, haunting wolf song. As I laid in the old, borrowed, pop-up camper…

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Tracing tracks

I know, it’s still summer, but the season’s permissive laze and daze has snuck out quietly and left us. Autumn’s invigorating breath has found her way into our mornings and soon I will don my fuzzy slippers, robe, and plan soups for dinner. Like many, we are into school schedules and events, after school chauffeuring,…

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