orchid

Here and now, in the most defining roles of my life, I am first and foremost a mother of two and a wife. By devoting myself to the three beautiful people I call home, I have discovered an unfathomable capacity to love, forgive, and evolve. Life is good, and it is ugly, and to love in all its variability is the challenge given to each of us from the start. Abundance awaits patiently on the hems of acceptance and awareness, all I need to do is remember. These words, help me remember…

The Laughing Heart
by Charles Bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
***

In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattail
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
***

Invitation
 by Oriah 

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or
have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,
be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true,
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;

I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
 
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

***

3 Comments Leave a comment

  1. For some reason, I cannot recall how i chanced upon your page, i think i was looking for something and then i got sidetracked, then i had a fleeting feeling and then your blog presented itself, and after a long time, as i am going through it, I feel calm.
    It is amazing, that these things exist and happen all in the first place. Thank you for letting out, and thank you for being a source of inspiration.

  2. Hi! I am a fellow writer (about finding solitude) in Issue 5 of Bella Grace, and just wanted to say hi and congratulations on your article! Mining the quiet as a mama and busy gal is a true challenge for me, and I am trying to sip my afternoon tea without making lists, checking email, highlighting books, reading, etc… great suggestion! Cheers, and happy blogging, Tracy

    • Thank you for your comment Tracy!! I had read your article and can relate so well to the rush of motherhood and trying to find the silence and slowness. Congratulations to you as well and so nice to meet you!!

I love your comments! Thank you so much for taking the time :).

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