Here and now, in the most defining roles of my life, I am first and foremost a mother of two and a wife. By devoting myself to the three beautiful people I call home, I have discovered an unfathomable capacity to love, forgive, and evolve. Life is good, and it is ugly, and to love in all its variability is the challenge given to each of us from the start. Abundance awaits patiently on the hems of acceptance and awareness, all I need to do is remember. These words, help me remember…
The Laughing Heart
by Charles Bukowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver
Look, the trees
their own bodies
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
the long tapers
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders
of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or
have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,
be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from its presence.
and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.